So you think you’ve read the Bible.


“No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male organ is cut off shall enter the assembly of the Lord.” – Deuteronomy 23:1 ESV

“If two men, a man and his countryman, are struggling together, and the wife of one comes near to deliver her husband from the hand of the one who is striking him, and puts out her hand and seizes his genitals, then you shall cut off her hand; you shall not show pity.” – Deuteronomy 25:11-12 NASB

“Make linen undergarments as a covering for the body, reaching from the waist to the thigh. Aaron and his sons must wear them whenever they enter the Tent of Meeting or approach the altar to minister in the Holy Place, so that they will not incur guilt and die.” – Exodus 28:42-43 NIV

“At a lodging place on the way, the LORD met [Moses] and was about to kill him. But Zipporah took a flint knife, cut off her son’s foreskin and touched [Moses’] feet with it. “Surely you are a bridegroom of blood to me,” she said.  So the LORD let him alone.” – Exodus 4:24-6 NIV

“And he [Elisha] went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up that way, there came forth little children of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; Go up, thou bald head. And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD.  And there came forth two she bears out of the wood and tare forty and two children of them.” – 2 Kings 2:23-24 – KJV

“This is what you must do when a man rapes a virgin who isn’t engaged. When the crime is discovered, the man who had sexual intercourse with her must give the girl’s father fifty shekels of silver, and she will become his wife. Since he raped her, he can never divorce her as long as he lives.” – Deuteronomy 22:28-29 NIV

“Yet she increased her prostitution, remembering the days of her youth when she engaged in prostitution in the land of Egypt. She lusted after their genitals – as large as those of donkeys, and their seminal emission was as strong as that of stallions.” – Ezekiel 23:19-20 NET

Bible: (noun) an ancient novel full of murder, corruption, homosexuality, bestiality, incest and cruelty. It is often read to children on Sunday.

UrbanDictionary.com

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