We’re all going to hell.

“Oh – no, Tim.  I’ve been saved by Jesus Christ, the true son of God.  Only people who aren’t saved will suffer eternal torment.  Like you!”

“You’re going to hell, Tim Cooley!” 

Oh?  Really?  But let me ask you.  Are you saved by Allah as well?  What exactly will you say to Him when the Judgment Day – Qiyamat – comes?

Jahannam, a place for non-Muslims after the Qiyamat.

Or, are you attracting bad karma?  Maybe Naraka is the place for you.  Here’s a quick overview: Naraka is filled with fire and torture, and you might be made to climb thorny trees.  But don’t worry – you won’t be there for an eternity.  After you have served punishment for all the misdeeds you have committed, you will probably reincarnate as a mutated rat.  Congratulations.
Naraka, the Buddhist hell.

Or, have you been disrespecting the Greek Gods?  Hades awaits your poor, wretched soul…

Tartaras, the Greek hell.

Or, perhaps you will face trial at Yama’s Court, for all your sins.  No, your sins were never forgiven.  Did you seriously think that you would get away that easily?  Haha!  Thanks for trying.

Yama’s Court, the gates to the Hindu hell. 

 Or, convert to Pastafarianism now and claim your cheesy reward.

Or else.