Religious Miracles

1. The Holy Toast miracle – Jesus appears on a burnt piece of toast, whilst 20,000 children starve to death a year.  Wooh!!!  Miracle!  The Virgin Mary grilled-cheese sold for $28,000 on eBay.  The real miracle here is that a dumb-arse casino would waste that much money on a piece of toast.  Hilarious.

2. Hindu milk miracle – On September 21, 1995, a Hindu offered some milk to a statue and it drank it!  Crowds gathered in an instant – oh the superstition.  The miracle here is that although scientists could explain this phenomenon as ‘capillary action’, the religious freaks continued to claim it as a sign from the gods.

3. Muslim miracle baby – Verses from the Qur’an appear on the skin of this unfortunate baby.  People rushed into worship.  The miracle is that under religious circumstances, child abuse can be praised and idolised.

4. Buddhist sarira miracle – Bead-like relics found in the remains of spiritual masters.  Relic worship is exceeding common in Buddhist Asia.  The miracle here is that scientists found the answer to this riddle.  What a great surprise [/sarcasm].  Link here.

5. The 9/11 miracle – Two miracle planes fly straight into two adjacent buildings guided by the hands of Allah.  Would never have happened without religion.  Definitely miraculous.