Dear readers. we have successfully created a new religion called Ufology. Lend us your souls.
Ufology, in brief.
The very first life on earth was seeded by an Alien God named ♈♍♄ (Yeswah). He created life on earth via ‘descent with modification’ and evolved humankind purposely to love us. But when evil scientists invented the camera, people started to doubt the existence of Yeswah. Yeswah was angry, so, in order to prove that he really exists, he sent his very own son Yoda down to earth (on December 25), but the humans were so full of sin they turned Yoda into a biological experiment in Area 51. Fortunately, Yoda died for the sins of humankind. So, believe in Yoda and you will get to live with Yeswah on Tatooine (Holy Land) after you die. Refuse to believe and your soul will be handed over to this guy…
Why Ufology is the religion of the future.
Ufology is backed up by a lot of eye-witness testimonies, therefore it must be true. There are simply too many witness accounts to list here. Google “UFO sightings” if you don’t believe me (or go here). For Yeswah’s sake, there are even photos and videos to back up Ufology. Nobody can possibly deny Ufology.
Trindade Island, Brazil 1958
My second argument for Ufology is this. Every painting needs a painter. Everything needs to have a cause. Therefore Yeswah must have created us. It’s that simple.
Third argument, and this is especially for the stupid atheists out there: You can’t prove that Yeswah doesn’t exist. By the way, lots of people believe in UFO’s. And you’re among the minority so you’re wrong.
“A national survey by an independent research consortium has found that 9.6% of all Canadians believe they have seen UFOs. This translates into nearly 3 million people who say they are UFO witnesses…”
“A new national poll found that 72 percent of Americans believe the government is not telling the public everything it knows about UFO activity, and 68 percent think the government knows more about extraterrestrial life than it is letting on, the SCI FI Channel reported.”
And by these very simple arguments, Ufology is definitely the religion of the future. Yoda died for your sins, whether you like it or not.
Ufology is officially a workable monotheistic religion.
- Plagiarise important concepts from the pagans and claim them as your own ✔
- Incorporate eye-witness accounts and other freaky miracles for credibility ✔
- Insert concept of hell (or other substitutes) to cause fear ✔
- Condemn non-believers to aforesaid damnation ✔
- Reward believers in the after-life ✔
- Apply pseudoscience ✔
- Deity shall not be tested ✔
- Deity loves you, therefore requires regular worship ✔
- Deity is all-knowing and beyond human comprehension ✔
- Ignore contradicting evidence ✔