Why do cheetahs run so fast?

In my other article “All of nature is a battlefield”, I looked at how all animals are fighting for survival, including humans, and I gave the example of a cheetah chasing a gazelle.  As we all know, the cheetah is the fastest land animal on earth.  Its record speed was about 120 km per hour!  But here is a question for you.  Why do cheetahs run so fast?

The intelligent design answer to this, or to any question regarding biology, I believe, is a non-answer.  “Because God wanted it that way”, to me, is just as good an answer as “Because the magical pixies wanted it that way”, ie. fack you for even trying to call Intelligent Design a science.  Your ignorance of science reminds me of primitive, fire-worshipping cavemen doing three-legged dances.  It’s time to grow the fack up.

Anyway, the question here is no riddle, and the obvious answer is that cheetahs run fast so that they could catch their prey, (and then eat it alive).  Now, as to why God would design such a sadistic preying method, I shall not pursue here, and I shall leave that for you to figure out.  “Oh, no, Tim!  You don’t understand!  They were vegetarians once!  Like the T-rex!”  Fack you, too.

Nice camouflage, huh?  Great design, duh!
(But not so great for the gazelles.)

As I was saying, cheetahs run fast so they could catch the gazelles.  In other words, the gazelle is really facked.  But wait, what?  Those gazelles run fast, too?  Yes, they do!  In fact, they run up to 80 km per hour!

Second question, then.  Why do gazelles run so fast?  But don’t think too much; here’s the answer.  It’s really easy, especially from a creationist’s perspective.  God designed the gazelle for speed — so that it could run away… from the cheetah…  um…  wait… WTF?!

What facking “intelligent designer” takes pleasure in watching a cheetah chasing a gazelle?  I mean, that poor gazelle is probably scared shitless.  Why?  Because if it ever gets caught, it’s head would be torn, straight off its…

… I told you so.

On a more serious note, all of nature is a battlefield.  The struggle for survival is what makes evolution possible, and what makes it so very true.  The cheetah is naturally selected for speed (and for camouflage), so that it could catch the gazelle (otherwise the cheetah would starve to death, along with her babies).  In other words, fast-running cheetahs pass down fast-running genes, while slow-running cheetahs starve to death (they don’t get to pass on their genes at all).

The gazelle is also naturally selected for speed.  Faster gazelles outrun slower gazelles, and the slower ones get devoured.  And the faster the cheetahs become, the faster the gazelles too, otherwise they’d go extinct, like 99% of all other species that has ever lived on earth.  Simple, isn’t it?

Evolution is a fact.  Written in the rocks.  Confirmed by DNA.  Observable in nature.  Repeatable in the lab.

It takes a real stupid person to deny firmly-established scientific facts.

Or at least, a real ignorant, brain-washed, religious numb-nut.

Like a creationist.