Thinking(?) like a creationist: A tribute to illogic and unreason


Evolution of a creationist.

1. Evolution is wrong.
2. Therefore Intelligent Design.
3. Therefore Yahweh.

1. Evolution is a fairytale.
2. In the beginning there was a talking snake and then a floating zoo and then a virgin birth.

1. Man is imperfect.
2. Do not trust scientists as they are prone to error.
3. Primitive sheepherders are not prone to error as they were inspired by God (excluding Pagan sheepherders).

1. Giant panda has sharp teeth.
2. T-rex had sharp teeth.
3. Therefore T-rex was a vegetarian.

1. There is a God.
2. Therefore, there is a God.

1. Darwin had a deathbed conversion. (19th century)
2. Darwin was a racist. (19th century)
3. Darwin was wrong about genetics. (19th century)
4. Darwin was doubtful about transitional fossils. (19th century)
5. Therefore 21st century theory of evolution is wrong.

1. Grand Canyon is big and rugged.
2. Therefore Noah’s flood.

1. There are no transitional fossils.
2. Transitional fossils were planted by God to test our faith.

1. Evolution cannot be falsified.
2. Evolution is false because there are no transitional fossils.

1. There are no transitional fossils.
2. There are no transitional fossils.
3. There are no transitional fossils. (rinse and repeat)

1. Evolution violates the second law of thermodynamics.
2. Evolution violates the second law of thermodynamics.
3. Evolution violates the second law of thermodynamics.

1. Evolution is a process of chance.
2. Evolution is a process of chance.
3. Evolution is a process of chance.

1. Haeckel’s embryos.
2. Haeckel’s embryos.
3. Haeckel’s embryos.

1. Radiometric dating is inaccurate and unreliable.
2. Radiometric dating is inaccurate and unreliable.
3. Radiometric dating is inaccurate and unreliable.
4. Radiometric dating shows the world is young.
5. Therefore creationism.

Scan of a creationist’s brain, or the lack thereof.

1. My great grandfather was not a monkey.
2. Therefore evolution is wrong.

1. The Bible mentioned dragons.
2. Therefore dinosaurs.
3. The Bible mentioned unicorns.
4. Translation error and out of context.

1. 40% of Americans are creationists.
2. Therefore creationism is a scientifically valid idea.

1. Evolution is only a theory.
2. Gravity is o… erm.

1. Look around you.
2. Therefore God.

1. Lee Strobel turned Christian.
2. Therefore evolution is wrong.

1. Antony Flew turned deist.
2. Therefore evolution is wrong.

1. Sir Isaac Newton (1642) was a creationist.
2. Therefore evolution is wrong.

1. DNA is complex.
2. Therefore God.

1. Lightning is complex.
2. Therefore Zeus.

1. Lalalalala I’m not listening lalalalala.
2. Therefore God.
3. Therefore I am an ignorant twit.

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