The Bible according to the Dalai Llama

So like, in the beginning there was a whole bunch of nothing. Then I created some shit out of the nothing in an order that won’t make sense to you, dumb as shit human that you are. I slap the universe together in 6 days, right, but I spend most of that time making it look older because, fuck you.

Then, I think of THE BEST PLAN! I’ll make a dude that looks just like me, out of dirt, because, I’m fucking God bro, I can do whatever the fuck I want. I put the lonely bastard in a nice garden and he gets so fucking bored he literally names every animal. When I say ‘every’ I mean the ones that… fuck you, all of them.

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